My Thanksgiving Prayer

While I have plenty to be thankful for this season of gratitude, I am still dealing with the malaise of Hurricane Helene here in WNC and the election results. My prayer for this Thanksgiving:

Holy Creator –

Thank you for the opportunity to pause and reflect on all we are grateful for. As we gather in this warm home, we remember others who do not have this blessing; this feast before us is prepared by loving hands and hearts, remembering others who don’t have this blessing, good health, and others who are suffering and in pain. We remember past Thanksgivings and those we shared, which are now memories.

Forgive us for taking so much and so many for granted. Open our eyes, minds, and hearts to the least of us, to those we view as enemies instead of neighbors. Help us to love ourselves just as we are so we can love others just as they are.

Thank you for community and for constantly reminding us that we can not live this life alone. We need one another. Make us community builders of more extended tables instead of taller walls.

Help us overcome our fear, mental scarcity, and hopelessness. Help us walk-the talk of compassion, justice, and humility.
And the people say, AMEN!

Are You Curious?

“The American electorate, knowing exactly who Trump is, chose him. This is, it turns out, who we are. – Michelle Goldberg, author and columnist.

There are good, compassionate, kind, and just people in the United States who are being dominated by a “This is who we are” minority who are anti-woke and anti-immigrant. They voted for their wallets.

Are you curious about who and what makes up “This is who we are?”  I am.

Are you curious why they are so fearful? Fear is the root of all ugly behavior. Why do we keep ignoring gun safety after the continuous mass shootings because of fear? Why do we fear people who don’t think, believe, or look like us? Why do we fear the LGBTQ+? Why do we fear the walk-the-talk of Jesus, Abraham, Mohammed, Buddha, Confucious, and Gandhi?

Are you curious why they are incompetent? Why don’t they recognize incompetence and inexperience as problems? Why do they embrace ridiculousness?

According to Charles Feldman, in The Thin Book of Trust, competency is one of the four components of trust. Why is acknowledging incompetence a sign of weakness for them? Why lie about incompetence? Why is trust no longer necessary to them?

Are you curious why they are selfish? Why do they think of themselves first and focus on what they want, no matter who has to suffer? Why is lying acceptable to get what they deserve?

Are you curious why they are unhinged? Why are there no guardrails, boundaries, or codes of conduct for which we are willing to hold ourselves accountable? Why is finger-pointing a daily exercise routine for them? Why is recklessness in fashion for them? Why do alternative facts, conspiracy theories, and fake news overrule facts, truth, and science for them?

Are you curious why they are impatient and quick to anger? Road rage incidents have doubled since 2018.

Are you curious why character is no longer about what others say about us but is bound by self-promotion for them?  Why is humility for losers for them?

Are you curious why they are uncivil? Why is everyone who doesn’t think, believe, or look like us not an opponent but an enemy for them?

Are you curious why they are loyal to a person and party, not to the U.S. Constitution?

Are you curious why we are an addicted nation? Why are we addicted to consumption? Why are we addicted to our smartphones and screens? Why do we seek pleasure to keep the pain away? Are our addictions keeping us from being better versions of ourselves? How are we experiencing ourselves, and how are others experiencing us?

Are you curious why we are judgmental? Judgment is an opinion that may need more careful consideration of facts. Our judgment may nurture our ignorance. Judgment is about telling what is wrong and what needs fixing. Judgment feeds the ego. Judgment may shut out the light, keeping the mind closed and the heart small.

Curiosity is the antidote for judgment. Curiosity requires listening to understand.

Curiosity is what makes Braver Angels a success. Watch the documentary, A Road Across A Divided America. Jump to 29:30 in this video to understand the need to be curious.

“Curiosity will conquer fear more than bravery ever will.” ~ James Stephens

What are you curious about?

What Would Jesus, Abraham, Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius, and Gandhi Do?

When I became Venture Out Director at Camp Joy in 2000, a challenge was to build our adjunct pool to work with corporate clients such as Procter & Gamble, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, Leadership Cincinnati, and many others. Adjuncts would come to Camp Joy on Saturday mornings to meet and learn how to facilitate and debrief portable and low-ground initiatives and physically challenging high-rope courses.

We began the Saturday morning adjunct gathering, checking in with each other and answering, “Why are you here, and what would you like to get out of today’s meeting?” One Black woman, new to us, answered, “I came out here to meet some good white people!” This woman had experienced the fallout from the April 2001 riots in Cincinnati sparked by the killing of an unarmed Black man, Timothy Thomas, by Cincinnati Police Officer Stephen Roach.

April 7, 2001, Cincinnati Police Officer Stephen Roach fatally shot Thomas while attempting to arrest him for past traffic violations, all non-violent. Thomas was the 15th Black person killed by Cincinnati Police in the previous six years. Cincinnati Police had killed no white person in that same period. Note that Cincinnati had a 40% Black population at the time. Four days of riots lead to millions of dollars in damage. These were some of the worst riots in this country at that time.

This woman has become one of my closest, dearest friends. I refer to her as my soul sister. We Zoom several times a month, and once a year, we co-facilitate a leadership retreat for a significant Cincinnati client with another close friend. We have done diversity, equity, and inclusion work together.

This woman is a mentor and the person most responsible for helping me to learn and understand my white male heterosexual Christian privilege. She has helped me become a better version of myself.

We Zoomed this past Friday morning. She cried. We cried. She is scared of who we are as a nation. She is suffering and is in pain.

This woman’s comment back at Camp Joy in 2003 haunted me then and now.

After this election, I wondered if my definition of decent Americans is skewed, irrelevant, or wishful thinking. Am I naive? I wish I lacked common sense. I wish I didn’t have core values of compassion, justice, and humility. I wish I didn’t hold myself accountable to them and seek people with similar values. I wish I could ignore white supremacy and misogamy. I wish I didn’t care for people experiencing poverty, immigrants, or anyone who doesn’t look like me. I wish I could support the cult leader we just elected. What’s changed since the founding of this country? White Christian heterosexual males rule. Everyone else drools.

I struggle with not supporting the president-elect because I am an American citizen, and he is my president, but because my fellow citizens voted him in, and I can’t turn my back on my country. I am conflicted by my dislike of the president-elect and my desire for American democracy to succeed.

I used to believe I should not let politics get in the way of relationships. Before 2016, both political parties sought the common good. We seemed to be working to understand diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging and were willing to learn about untaught history. We sought to become enlightened. SCOTUS ruled for same-sex marriage in 2015.

That tide is going out.

As I approach elderhood, I fear for America and my grandchildren. I especially fear for my daughter, her wife, and their children. More than ever, for my well-being, I may no longer be able to have a relationship with those who do not share my values, pain and suffering. You who support the president-elect, please recognize the pain I feel for my friends and family from the fear and potential harm coming their way. If you ignore this pain, it will be hard for us to be in a relationship.

*Picture is the “Holy Chaos,” a fresco in the front of the sanctuary at Haywood Street Congregation, Asheville, NC.

Disclaimer

One of the tools I use with clients (and personally) is Joel Barker’s Implication Wheel. While the Implication Wheel does not predict the future, it can come close! We yearn to know the future (its estimated psychic services generated $2.3 billion in revenue in 2023!)

In Heather Cox Richardson’s recent Letters From An American, many are coming to grips with the fact that they did not realize the implications of Trump’s proposed agenda. Here are a couple of examples:

The 60% tariff Trump proposes on China will raise the Sony Playstation Pro from $699 (Walmart) to $1,000.

The tariffs are designed to bring manufacturing back to the U.S. to create more jobs. Madden Shoes, a $3 billion industry, will move manufacturing from China to other countries and not to the U.S. to avoid tariffs and keep prices low.

Richardson writes polls showed before the election that voters overwhelmingly preferred Harris’s policies to Trump’s if they didn’t know which candidate proposed them.

I believe we are going to experience an awakening to our cognitive dissonance and our lack of critical thinking—Barker’s Implication Wheel can help with this.

I recommend watching Apple TV’s Disclaimer. The final episode became available, November 8, 2024. This dramatic series portrays our cognitive dissonance, the unwillingness to do critical thinking that can lead to harrowing implications. This series will be hard to watch, but the seventh episode has a powerful ending. This might be an excellent catalyst for having hard conversations with others about the future.

Background on My Last Blog…

After my last blog, Four Reasons NOT to Come to Asheville, NC, Right Now, I received a lot of feedback in agreement with me and also feedback disagreeing with me.

Whenever I write a blog, I do research. Here are a few resources from my research:

From Florida State University – Tropical Storms and Hurricanes: What to do after

From the State of Hawaii, Department of Business, Economic Development & Tourism after the Maui wildfireThe closure of businesses in West Maui and the decrease in visitor arrivals – not only to Maui, but also to other islands across the state – will negatively affect the state’s economic recovery. The reconstruction of Lahaina will take years to complete.

Hawaii has lost population for several years in a row. It is reasonable to expect more people to move out of state due to business employment consolidation and relocation.

From Bay City TexasTake care of your emotional health. During and after a hurricane, it is natural to experience different and strong emotions. Coping with these feelings and getting help when you need it will help you, your family, and your community recover from a disaster.

From International SOSThe immediate impact of an earthquake or hurricane to local infrastructure and communities is immense, but to avoid significant business disruption, organizations will commonly aim to resume operations as soon as possible after impact. However, resuming operations after such a disruption could actually cause more harm. It is imperative for organizations to understand the impact and develop a precise plan of how to best resume operations based on the health and safety in the affected area.

From FEMABefore disaster strikes your business, nothing is more important than having a plan in place to protect your employees and safeguard your assets to minimize the disruption to the business.

About 25 percent of businesses do not reopen after disasters. Having an emergency disaster plan and a continuity of operations plan in place can reduce that risk and help the business recover faster. Below are tips to help businesses prepare for disasters large and small. 

From my reading and research, I concluded that the community must be the priority over business. Business is made of people and requires people to purchase goods and services. If the people aren’t good, safe, physically and mentally healthy, the business won’t be either.

I talked with business owners and artists who lost everything. They are focused on restoring the community and cannot take time to open a business or create new art. I, too, lost significant business with a client at a three-day event here in Asheville in October. That program is rescheduled for February 2025 in a different state.

I volunteer at Habitat Restore in the River Arts District, which was destroyed. Habitat relies on Restore to help with funding for the Habitat homes under construction. They are anxious to reopen Restore and recognize the priorities of people’s well-being over business.

I talked with first responders. As one first responder shared, “We are burned out! People need to stay away!”

These are my opinions. I appreciate hearing yours as we move forward to make Asheville Strong.

Four Reasons NOT to Come to Asheville, NC, Right Now

A month after Hurricane Helene devastated Western North Carolina and Asheville, the Buncombe County Tourism Development Authority (TDA) started inviting tourists back.

As a Buncombe County and City of Asheville resident, I think this is a bad idea. I recognize tourism is an important part of the Asheville and Buncombe County economies, but now is not the time to come to Asheville. Here are four reasons why I believe tourists should stay away.

Travel. While this is leaf season here in WNC, many roads in Western North Carolina are still impassable due to landslides, washouts, and destroyed bridges, including I-40 to the west at the North Carolina—Tennessee border. I-26 West just opened, but it is only one lane and inaccessible for large, wide loads. Check out https://drivenc.gov/ for up-to-date information on road closures.

The Blue Ridge Parkway has numerous closures from mile markers 234 to 405. You can check the road status at https://www.nps.gov/blri/planyourvisit/roadclosures.htm.

It is estimated that Buncombe County has 240,000 truckloads of debris. After 9/11, there were 41,000 truckloads of debris from the World Trade Center. This is one of 27 counties in Western North Carolina that were impacted by Helene. Debris and dirt are piled up along our roads, waiting to be transferred and dealt with.

One of the two hardware stores I frequent for supplies is gone due to flooding, and I have to go a very circuitous route to reach the other. My normal drive to Black Mountain for a haircut requires a different and more time-consuming drive.

Give the workers working hard to open roads the safety to do their work well and quickly!

Sites. Would you go to Disney World in Orlando if the Magic Kingdom and Epcot were destroyed and needed rebuilding? I love Valencia, Spain, but I would not consider traveling there with the devastation they have experienced.

While The Biltmore reopens tomorrow, November 2nd, getting there through washed-out Biltmore Village is unpleasant. Toxic dirt covers the entrance grounds of Biltmore. Wearing an N95 mask is recommended in this area. Again, lots of workers are in the area trying to clean up and figure out what, where, how, and when to rebuild not only Biltmore Village and The River Arts District but also other charming towns and villages destroyed by Helene.

The U.S. Forest Service reports that Helene moderately to catastrophically damaged nearly 200,000 acres of the Pisgah and Nantahala National Forests, impacting 800 miles of trails. Many hiking trails are closed. The North Carolina Arboretum has reopened its gardens on October 28th, but trails and most outdoor areas remain closed.

Water. We are still without potable water. If you come, you must be mindful that you cannot drink the water from the faucet. Do not shower if you have an open wound. Buncombe County Health and Human Services has seen an uptick in gastrointestinal illness due to water, hygiene, and food handling. If you can go out to eat, you will be asked if you’d like bottled water. Hand sanitizer is essential. Use it often and regularly, even after washing your hands.

While we are known as Beer USA, many breweries are not open due to water issues.

Large portable tankers and tanks are all over Western North Carolina and the City of Asheville. That classy picture you might want to take of the iconic Art Deco City of Asheville building will have a huge water tanker in front of it.

Attitude. Yes, we are Asheville Strong, but life in Western North Carolina and Asheville is far from normal. We are dealing with trauma and grief. We cry a lot. Why would you come to Asheville for fun when many of us are cleaning, rebuilding, and healing? We already have a housing crisis in the area, and Helene has added to this. We don’t need disaster tourism. We don’t need gawkers viewing the destruction. Tourism resources need to be reallocated to residents of Western North Carolina.

What can you do? Do not send clothing or food here. Send money to organizations directly involved in our recovery. Send money to favorite restaurants to help pay their out-of-work staff. Send money to local artists whose shops and art were destroyed by flooding. More ways to help at Give Local and Always Asheville.

*Note: The picture is of Rec Park pool where I swam laps in the summer not far from our home. The bridge over the Swanannoa River is in front of the pool. Swanannoa River Road on the right, no longer exists.